CHANGE - Why I Embrace CHANGE - You Can Too4:11 PM
What am about to tell might surprise a few of you (those who knew me).
Some of you may be able to relate to what I have experienced and feel confronted.
Nevertheless I want to put it out there.
I've given up on stifling my emotions.
I feel ready to reveal myself but that will be done in perfect time and sequence.
This post is to all who knew me, know me and yet to know me.
It's about Me and how CHANGE has helped me find myself. Read on!
For the past one year I have regularly come across comments such as
"Hema you have changed so much".
"You're not at all the person I knew"
Old School friends on Facebook take time to accept my friend request saying " I didn't recognise you".
The change in me has been overwhelming to myself, so I totally understand reaction from those who knew me, when they say I'm unrecognisable at first sight.
I am not even an inch close to who I was ONLY four years ago. Four years is not long but I have availed every second of it to enjoy and do the things I missed out on earlier.
I couldn't be more happier with who I am now and what I have achieved along with my husband in the last four years.
I remember resisting change every step of the way since childhood through to adult years.
Change always made me feel uncomfortable, vulnerable and it freaked me out.
For those who knew me would know, I was the average girl.
I was the 'boring friend' as many used to jokingly call me, because I wouldn't go on outings or join them in any sort of fun (Except on rare occasions)
I was the girl you'd love to have a good chat with and have a laugh. But that was it!
I was simply not "cool enough" to be around.
I was the homely girl who knew nothing more than going to school and straight back home. My wardrobe badly needed a make over. I used to be easily angered by the simplest joke made about me. Irrational and stressed about every thing.
I always had a SMILE on my face but I now realize it was fake.
YES it was!
I hid a lot of frustration, pain and anxiety (close to depression) which nobody ever had an inkiling about, not even my family. I never confided in anybody. For years life felt meaningless and I hated myself for who I was. I struggled with who I was day and night. Until my husband put forward the idea of coming to Australia.
If you want to know me now is the time. Because right now I am well and truly ME and I mean it.
Whether I Smile, Cry, Laugh, Hug or Love.....It's for Real !!
I don't bury my emotions anymore. I let it out there. It makes me feel good about myself.
Though I made some wonderful friends over the years, deep down I used LONELY and aware of that....but I couldn't help myself out of that loneliness.
Because I was still on the lookout for myself. I WAS NEVER ME UNTIL NOW.
The one and only person who's known me and stayed by my side through the fake and real ME is my husband. He has been besides me through thick and thin, seen me at my worst and is the strongest pillar in my life.
For 26 years I resisted change. Resisted becoming the person I am now.
How silly of me!
I've held back so much. I preferred flying under the radar. I was a people pleaser which was a blunder and left me unhappy. Looking back I realize everything about me was unreal.
The wake up call was after a month in Melbourne. After settling down it was time to venture out. I needed a job. My course was about to begin. University fees were to be paid. It dawned upon me that life was about to turn hectic.
There were going to be lots of drawbacks and moments of discomforts. Everything was about to change. Reality was about to hit me hard. Being in a new land was about to have a massive impact on my personality. There was going to be a Tsunami of changes in my life.
Can you imagine my plight?
I totally felt like I was thrown into the ocean and asked to swim.
I assumed I was confident enough but hold on, I was nowhere near being confident. Literally I was born and had to learn to walk and talk all over again.
From now on I was going to be thrust into situations totally unknown to me. Thankfully my husband constantly reminded me that I could do this. So there I was.
Change was creeping up fast on me.
I was out in the world doing the things I felt most uncomfortable about.
I was forced to take initiatives.
Handed out resumes to potential employers.
Getting loads of paperworks sorted out in relation to our stay in Australia.
Walking up and down the CBD streets. Getting lost.
Finding my way back again while in tears on the phone to my husband.
Taking up IT as my field of study. Something I hardly had any previous knowledge about.
Meeting people from all over the world day in and day out.
Getting to know them without being judgemental or stereotyping.
I gradually realized the more I was being true to myself the more my relationship with people was blossoming. I was falling in love with CHANGE. I was enjoying every second of who I was becoming.
Held captive by myself for so long....Suddenly I felt FREE.
Smile for real.
Grow self confident.
Stand up for myself.
Be proud of who I am.
Make wonderful friends.
Use my time efficiently.
Become health conscious.
Dance to my hearts content.
Accept failures and move on.
Ignore what people think about me.
Have a broader perspective on life.
Look fear in the eye and outsmart it.
Find the qualities I never knew I had.
Have a high self-esteem about myself.
Go to places I could have only dreamed of.
Recognise my strengths and weaknesses.
Try recipes I was too scared to try before.
Live for today, Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.
Dress up the way I feel most comfortable with.
Eat foods I would never have tasted otherwise.
Learn to let go of things and people who don't matter anymore.
Step out of my comfort zone and meet people with a whole new mindset.
To be concise.....
CHANGE HAS TRANSFORMED MY LIFE AND I NEVER WILL LOOK BACK.
That's a pledge I made to myself.
Folks.....Change is inevitable. Change is an opportunity for improvement.
Get comfortable with it and allow Change to have positive impacts on your life.
Better live with regrets for the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done.
Here are some thought provoking quotes on Change which have helped change My Life.....These can help you too:-)
"Change is the Essence of Life. Be Willing To Surrender What You Are For What You Could Become".
"Your Life Does Not Get Better By Chance, It Gets Better By Change". Anonymous
"If YOu Focus On Results You Will Never Change. If You Focus On Change, You Will Get Results".
"I'm Making Some Changes In My Life. If You Don't Hear Anything From Me. You Are One Of Them".
"Change Is Difficult. Not Changing is Fatal" Anonymous
"Be The Change You Want To See In The World" Mohandas Gandhi
"The Only Way To Make Sense Out Of Change Is To Plunge Into It, Move With It And Dance With It" Alan Watts