Top 6 Side Effects Of Constant Complaining

July 17, 2015

Are you being thrown off course? Situations are not turning out as you expect them to? You can't help but complain and curse that it's not fair and life really sucks! Right?

Consciously or unconsciously we always have something to complain about.
Isn't it?
We often forget that complaining is damn easy. 
Doing something about it is the biggest challenge we all face nowadays.

Consider these common everyday life statements we often complain about!

Fact: Monday is a day like any other.
Our Story: "Monday again! bummer".

Fact: There are hundreds of opportunities waiting for you to embrace them.
Our Story: "I'm so unlucky, opportunities never come my way."

Fact: You should take care of yourself.
Our Story: "Nobody cares about me."

Fact: Life is a precious gift. 
Our Story: "Life sucks"

I would like to share with you a story I heard while I was attending a seminar conducted by a positive thinking coach early this year.

There was once a depressed man. He went to Normand Vincent Peale. (A famous pastor, author and progenitor of "positive thinking").

He goes to the pastor and complains, "Normand, I'm so down and depressed. 
Nothing is working in my life and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I seem to have run out of luck".

Normand said, "Don't worry, I will help you".

He got a blank sheet of paper, folded it into two so as to have two columns and told the man. Here's what we will do.

"We'll write the things that you lost, the things that you are depressed about on the left-hand side and write the things you still have on the right-hand side," said Normand.

So the man moans again saying, "Oh, forget about the right side. You can tear it and throw it away because there's nothing good left in my life".

Normand willing to make this man see the brighter side of things says, "Ok, let's try. I'm going to ask you a few questions.

"When did your wife leave you?" asks Normand.
"Leave me? No no no. My wife didn't leave me. She's here and she loves me"
Normand goes on, "Oh! She loves you. So let's put it in the right side. Shall we? and continues
"When did your kids go to jail?"
"My kids? They aren't in jail. They are good kids and are still with me" says the man.

So Normand kept asking similar questions.

After a while, the man began to smile. He understood what Normand was doing. He came to think of it and said, "My life is not as bad after all, I complain far more than I should".

Just like the depressed man, most of us tend to think there's nothing good in our lives. When in fact if we took an inventory, we'd be surprised  at the number of things we have in our lives, we often overlook and take for granted.

Complaining means expressing our dissatisfaction over certain situations. It is an attitude often associated with negativity.

Did you know?

  • Adam was the first complainer. He and Eve disobeyed and Adam complained to God saying, "The woman you put here with me- she gave me some fruit - I ate it" (Genesis 3:12)
  • Minda Zatlin mentions in the Inc.Magazine that a new research suggested that "being exposed to too much complaining can actually make you dumb".
  • For those who want to complain but don't know how there's even a website that generates an automatic complaint letter to make complaining more efficient.
  • Stephanie Vozza from FastCompany states that "A half hour complaining every day physically damages a person's brain.
  • According to Trevor Blake, author of Three Simple Steps says there is a social reason for complaining. "Nothing unites people more strongly than a common dislike. The easiest way to build friendship and communicate is through something negative.

We can all get by with a little bit of venting or complaining. It's okay to talk to a friend, colleague or family member and get something off your chest once in a while. If done effectively for the right reasons, complaining can solve problems.

Unfortunately though, nowadays it's easy to come across people who complain like it's a way of life.

If the food is too hot or cold....complain.
If it's raining...complain.
If the train is delayed....complain.
Complain, complain, complain....

One can easily come across social media statuses, filled with laments about an illness, a bad boss, a failed love story, feelings of disappointment, boredom and annoyance over slow WI-FI connections. What does this mean?

We are fast becoming a generation of moaners and groaners which could potentially negatively impact our mindset and overall health.

What you absolutely need to know is that your constant lamenting is pulling you down into a dark abyss. It is stopping you from reaching the heights of success and literally tearing you apart. 

Here are six side effects of constant complaining you need to be aware of.

 Sending the wrong signal

When you go shopping you get what you pay for, similarly you get what you complain about most. Complain about not having enough money? Financial issues will trouble you. 
Complain about a dull relationship with your partner and you'll end having more problems.

Surely you must have noticed that the more we complain about something, the more negativity we attract. That's why it is believed, "What we focus on expands".

You attract what you most constantly say and do. 
This is a powerful universal law which you can also call the law of attraction. 

People who love bitching send a negative signal to the universe. 
The universe then picks up on those negative waves and sends back the appropriate circumstances. These circumstances will be made up of negative energy and create for you a stream of misery giving you more situations to complain about. 

Complaining becomes an addiction. It gets in the way of everything and makes you feel unfortunate. 

We all want happiness, health and wealth, but many of us aren't prepared to make the sacrifices to get what we want.

Looking for prosperity to fall off the sky?? Wait on!

If you choose to permanently settle in ComplainVille and plonk yourself down, you leave the universe no choice but to grant you what you constantly think and whinge about.

Bottom Line

Let go of your inertia. Curb the number of times you complain. Switch your mind to all the good things in your life and attract abundance. Many people laugh it off thinking the law of attraction is nonsense. If you grasp the essence of this law you will have a different outlook on life and work towards making positive changes.

 Glory to victim mentality

"You only get to be a victim once, after that you're a volunteer"

I want you to mull over this thought for a few moments.

Have you been a victim to a mishap and hardships? Probably. 
Did you let that situation define who you are? Probably.

Do you allow yourself to wallow in self-pity? 
It's human to feel gutted when something bad happens to us. But taking on a victim mentality, complaining day in and out won't solve anything. It only makes matters worse. Refusing to take responsibility for your life makes you feel powerless. 

Let's say you had an abusive childhood. Chances are you will grow up with a lot of resentment towards yourself and your perpetrator which is understandable.
But should that be the reason you hold yourself back and attribute every failure in your life to that past? 

Bottom Line

If you are wasting your life away with a 'poor me' attitude, looking for somebody to throw the blame on at every bend I can guarantee you nothing good will ever come your way. I make a plea to you, please peel off that label you have stuck to yourself. Complaining will do nothing but wreck your life. Take on a positive approach to all the bad experiences in your life. Turn your life around and do something you'll be proud of.

Be the victor, not the victim!  

 Depletes your happiness well

Complaining and happiness are sworn enemies. Simply put, they can never get along.

People usually complain about Mondays. What's so wrong about Mondays? 
It's a new day which means another golden opportunity to live the life you want.

So why hate Mondays?
Here's where everything comes undone.
Sadly, some of us have conditioned our minds to think that Mondays are depressing. We forsake our happiness by complaining about it every single week. 

Bottom Line

Change the way you look at things today. If you are complaining about your bills, think about living without water, electricity and gas! If you are complaining about the food being too hot or cold think about the millions dying of starvation. Change your perspective and change your life. Focus on what you want but do not turn your back on happiness, not even for a second. As they say happiness is a way of life, not a destination. Reclaim your happy days by complaining less and appreciating more.

 Allergic to self-development

Complaining and an arrogant attitude works hand in hand. Surely you must have across those who claim they are perfect. They know everything. They hold on so much to their arrogance and that hampers self-development. These people cannot tolerate constructive criticism or advice on changing one's attitude. Needless to say people with such behaviors always remain unsatisfied and negative as they do not feel the need to improve themselves.

Bottom Line

Complaining gives you a false sense of grandeur and discourages self-development. When you begin to think you are flawless you attract more losses than gains.

The more you stick to your reasons to complain the more the reasons stick to you and poisons your life. Refusing to be a better person is ignorance.

The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development.
I used to say, "If you will take care of me, I will take care of you".
Now I say, "I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me"
Jim Rohn 

 Blacklisted as "Must avoid at all cost" 

You'd be surprised to know that even those who complain, complain about those who complain and very often you'll catch them saying, "I don't like him/her because he/she complains a lot. Funny right? No, it's not. 

It's draining to associate yourself with somebody who always has something to complain about. 

When you constantly complain you release negative vibes. This vibe is hardly ever well received by those who rarely complain or those who prefer optimism. Thus, complaining puts you straightaway in that blacklist. You are not fun to be around anymore. You become unlikeable and people will try to avoid you. 

Bottom Line

Remove yourself from this cycle of constant complaining. Instead of starting off your conversation with a colleague,  "Urghhh, Monday again", why not try, "It's a lovely Monday morning". You might not mean it the first time but persist. If you are complaining, sugarcoat that complaint with two pieces of positive affirmations.

For example:
"I had a good sleep, but it was hard to wake up this morning. But once I did, I felt refreshed and good to go" 

Next time, you think about complaining, practice doing so only when needed. But if you really want to complain about something trivial do not forget to sugarcoat it. Do not overdo the complaint though 

 Suffer from FWP

Wondering what's FWP?
It's also known as 'First World Problems'

I bet you have friends/family/colleagues on social media or in real life who suffer from FWP. 
I recently came across these two statuses:

1. Person X status update
"I missed out on the last ticket to Katy Perry's show. Feeling devastated!

2. Person Y update
"It's so hot and my beer is not cold enough"

My response: Are you serious????

Millions around the world are starving. Many bed ridden and probably breathing their last as you complain about trivial things that shouldn't matter at all. 

Constant whining forces you to nitpick mountains out of molehills and makes you think that the world will come crashing down on you. It strips you of logical thinking.

"When you complain 
you advertise your stupidity" 

Bottom Line

Do you want people to care about you?
Do you want people to pay attention to you?

Then stop complaining and start caring about others. Truth be told, nobody really cares about your complaints. Do you know what people prefer? They like to see those who bounce back from difficult situations. They like to associate themselves with those who can find solutions to their problems. They like people who have the courage to walk their talk. They prefer people who are humble and strive to make a difference and make the world a better place. 

Can you do that?

If you can. 
It's time to leave ComplainVille.  
Sending positive vibes your way.

Over to you.
How often do you complain? How do you refrain from moaning? 
Is it possible to stop complaining all together?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. 

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