13 Important Facts You Need To Know To Restart Your Life4:32 PM
Are you feeling stuck in your life? Does the world seem to have come to a standstill?
Do you feel like letting go of the past and starting afresh but are uncertain where to start?
You, my dear friend, have come to the right place.
There comes a point in our lives when we start asking ourselves lots of thoughtful questions, such as:
- Is this what I was born to do?
- Have I made the right career choice?
- Am I in a relationship with the right person?
- What is my life’s purpose?
I have good news for you. Your questions suggest a burning desire to redefine who you are and what you stand for.
You probably are looking to restart your life. Isn’t that good news?
Not yet convinced? Let me explain.
I experienced starting from scratch first hand.
I found it easier to start over again as I knew I wasn’t fulfilling my life’s purpose, and I wanted more out of my life.
I knew I had to contribute something to this world but couldn’t put my finger on it.
The questions mentioned above kept haunting me day and night. At first, I thought I was losing my mind.
Gradually it became clear to me that those questions were actually leading me to become who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do.
Here’s a question I recently received via email from one of my readers. This is the question that prompted me to write this post.
Sara, one my readers asked:
“I am 36. I have been working in the corporate sector for 15 years and have been quite successful at it, but deep inside I know that wasn’t who I was meant to be. I kept at it for so many years. Now I feel like an empty vessel and can’t take it anymore. I would love to leave my 9-5 job and pursue my passion, which is fashion. I would like to start my fashion line, but I’m scared to death when I think about restarting at the age of 36. I don’t want to end up in the streets. I doubt if I’ll ever succeed. Should I go for it or not?”
Can you relate to Sara in any way?
Have you also been planning to start a new life or business, but the thought of having too many things to consider is making you delay the process?
Have you already completed your post-secondary studies just to have it dawn on you that you’re not interested in this field anymore?
Do you feel stuck doing what your family and friends want you to do?
Is your present relationship stopping you from being who you want to be?
Allow me to reassure you that you are not alone in this.
Thousands of people just like you suppress their dreams and passions. They wear a shoe that doesn’t fit them.
Some do come to the realization that the shoe isn’t the right fit; while others keep wearing it until they suffocate and die.
Why do we Even Want to Start Over Again in Life?
This uncommon thought usually stems during late adulthood.
Unforeseen circumstances such as a failed relationship, health issues, loss of a job, failures, or an accident can trigger within us the want to start over.
Parents and peer pressure, finances, and geography are some of the many reasons for restarting life.
I have put together 13 essential things you need to know based on my own experience of restarting life.
Open the door to positive thoughts
Life is breathtakingly short to spend your time on negative and depressing thoughts. Change your thought process and change your life.
I am a living proof of the benefits that positive thinking can have on your life.
I have undergone a drastic life change from being negative to being comfortable in my own skin, taking responsibility for my actions, and leaving no stone unturned in going after my dreams.
If you wish to start afresh, no one can get into your head and force you to go after your dreams. You alone can control what you think.
It is time to ditch those negative thoughts and open your mental doors to positive self-fulfilling thoughts.
You will feel orphaned
There are prices to pay when starting over. It requires an insane amount of guts.
You will be mocked, laughed at, hated and rated for choosing a different path. You will be called crazy and foolish by most.
Some will convince you that you are making the biggest mistake of your life and force you to doubt yourself time and again. Others will simply desert you.
You will feel like an orphan. That’s the price to pay for most dream conquerors.
As I mentioned earlier, when you go after what you really want in life, the probability of having someone support you will be low.
Prepare yourself to be alone in this self-discovery journey of yours.
You will be dismayed that people close to you aren’t supporting you. That’s ok. Move on. Don’t take it personally.
Sooner or later they will realize you were right to go after your dreams. Remember, by following your dreams you could be inspiring thousands of others to do the same.
Age is only a number
How would it feel if you were to reach the end of your days feeling like you haven’t been fulfilling your life’s purpose? Gutted, right?
Anyway, who wants to die out of regret? Nobody!
“I am too old to start over again.”
“I should have gotten all this figured out when I was younger.”
These are some of the most overheard dream crushing statements of all times. They act as barriers and stop people from restarting their lives.
Bear in mind, you are never too old to follow your passion.
Young adults often pressurize themselves into thinking that they need to have lives figured out by the age of 25 or less.
Who says so?
Personally I am glad to have never questioned my life’s purpose until I was about 20.
Had I done so, I most certainly would have made lots of mistakes due to lack of maturity and life experiences, which I only learned in my late twenties.
If you have been reading my earlier posts, you must have noticed I often mention the Law of Attraction.
How is this law related to your age?
The Law of Attraction knows no age, sex, caste, rich, poor, educated, or not. All it is concerned with is to bring you the experiences that your subconscious mind mostly focuses on.
If you constantly believe you are too old to start over, this Law will work accordingly and grant your wishes like the Genie in Aladdin’s Lamp!
Ultimately, if you believe age is no barrier, the Law will work in your favour and bring forth positive life experiences.
If you plant a pumpkin seed - the Law of Attraction will see to it that pumpkins grow out of it.
You cannot plant a pumpkin and expect tomatoes. You will be called naive!
Hence, plant the seed of belief and attract abundance OR plant the seed of doubt and attract scarcity.
Nothing can limit you but YOU!
Here are 3 examples of people who restarted their lives late in life.
1. Anna Mary Robertson Moses
Also known as Grandma Moses, she began painting at the age of 78.
One of her paintings, the Sugaring Off, was sold for $1.2 million in 2006. She won many awards and was also awarded two honorary doctoral degrees.
She is often cited as the example of an individual who successfully started a career at an advanced age.
2. Fauja Singh
Also known as the ‘Sikh Superman’ and ‘Running Baba’, Fauja Singh, now 104, is the world’s oldest marathon runner.
He became the first 100-year-old to finish a marathon, completing the Toronto Waterfront Marathon in 8:11:06. Running brought him unexpected fame.
He was featured in an Adidas campaign along with soccer superstar David Beckham and boxing legend Muhammad Ali in 2004.
3. Colonel Harland Sanders
Founder of the famous Kentucky Fried Chicken, he was an American Businessman. He held a number of jobs in his earlier years.
He was an insurance salesman, steam engine stoker, and filling station operator before becoming KFC’s mogul that we all know, at the age of 65.
I truly hope this is enough proof that age is no barrier to starting over in life.
Patience is key
Nothing worth having comes easy and quick. Haste makes waste. Good things come to those who wait. Heard of these common clichés, right?
Starting from scratch will test your patience. You have to understand that some things take time.
The biggest mistake one can make is to look for quick fix solutions, get rich quick schemes or a magic formula to instantly change your life.
Be realistic. Be patient. But don’t let doubt rent space in your head. Plant patience and reap sweet fruits.
Be brave and take risks
Are you playing it safe? We are fast becoming a risk-averse population.
Whenever we are challenged with an uncomfortable situation by default, we avoid it or try taking fewer risks.
Living within our comfort zone screws our lives more than we actually think it does. It impedes our progress.
Want to restart your life? Get off that comfy couch of yours, burn the midnight oil, risk it or spend the rest of your life feeling miserable.
It saddens me to see so many people with amazing potential just whiling away precious years within those safe walls of a career and life they hate.
The grass is greener on the outside of your comfort zone.
Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual
Restarting means you will have to face a lot of decision making.
The choices you make will have ripple effects in your life. Those effects can be in your favour or turn against you.
You will confront intimidating and tough situations that will bring you down to your knees. You will have to learn to rise on your feet to realize your dreams.
Make every second count
Starting over again means making the most of every second.
You may have to sacrifice short-term gratifications, like partying, watching TV and sleeping for long hours.
A timetable will certainly help you manage your time efficiently. It is also advisable to have a list of short and long-term goals.
When I started my life again at the age of 25, I was a pro- procrastinator and ignorant on how to set goals.
I was fortunate to have the right mentor at the right time who taught me the essentials of goals setting and not taking one’s time for granted.
Thus began my journey of making every second count.
I’d be lying if I said I don’t procrastinate at all. I do so still on rare occasions. I have learned to respect my time, prioritize, and set goals.
Starting from today, take the necessary actions to make better use of your time, so you have no regrets later in life.
Networking is the key
You don’t have to be on your own. Sounds misleading, right?
I mentioned earlier that you will feel like an orphan, and now this statement.
As you read this now, many are wanting to start afresh or looking for answers to their questions.
Join forums, conversations, groups, and engage with people who have similar visions and mindset as yours.
Start networking with professionals and inspiring people via social media. Networking is the way to feel encouraged and boost your level of confidence.
I am fortunate to be part of one such group AHA-Now Community.
This community consists of amazing people from all over the world. I have made wonderful friends and found answers to so many questions networking with people from this group.
Nourish your mind
Do you know how easy it is to nourish your mind and keep it healthy?
Motivate yourself by reading self-help books, podcasts, and audiobooks.
Listen to Ted Talks. Read autobiographies of famous people, who restarted their lives and made it big.
Nowadays, the problem is that we fill our minds with useless information instead of “food for thought”.
You got to motivate yourself.
Avoid making excuses as to why you cannot find time to take care of your mental hygiene.
Take care of your mind in the same manner you take care of your looks and body.
There are tons of life changing books, videos, and articles online. Go get them now!
Hard work is the name of the game
Very often I come across those who take the first step of going after what they want.
However, down the track they take the ho-hum attitude towards life and end up feeling miserable.
Restarting your life means taking the bull by its horns.
I can’t stress enough on how important hard work is when it comes to starting from scratch.
Have you ever come across those who want to be successful but wait on being spoon-fed instead of making the effort to get what they want?
Laziness doesn’t pay off. If you strongly believe in your dream, you got to protect it and give it all you got.
Work hard now and enjoy later. Or laze away now and work hard for the rest of your life.
I just want you to know that you can start working hard any day you pick. It’s choice time!
There is no harm in asking
The thing that screwed up many years of my life was the fear of asking questions. I was in pain but afraid to ask for help.
I was ignorant about so many things but dared not to ask.
What if my questions were laughed at? What if I was asking the most stupid question?
Little did I know that those self-made assumptions were harming my personal development.
I hereby make a sincere plea to you. ASK! ASK! ASK!
A question you never ask will never be answered!
Restarting again means there will be tons of questions popping in your head. How will you ever know if you do not ask?
I want you to ask questions, just like Sara. Do not hesitate to ask questions even if you think your question would be considered as dumb.
Sometimes the dumbest questions unlock the gateway to our success. Go ahead and ASK!
Change the way you talk to yourself
“I don’t have what it takes to be successful.”
“I cannot compete with all the competition around me.”
“I think I was meant to live an average life.”
If this is your kind of language so far, change it. Change it straightaway.
You cannot afford to talk to yourself in such degrading ways. How do you expect to be respected and taken seriously if you constantly put yourself down?
Be your own best friend and support yourself on every step of the way. Admire and appreciate yourself. Be equally hard and tolerant of your aptitudes.
When talking to yourself, pretend you are actually talking to somebody else. Be supportive and kind. You’re the first person you have to be nice to.
Be prepared. You will lose.
I’m sure you’re feeling confused reading this. You must be thinking, “Why would you finish off a post like this, on a negative note?”
Please bear with me before making your own conclusions.
You will lose. We all will lose.
This story will further illustrate my point.
There was once a farmer who was good, God-fearing, sincere, and generous.
He reaped every harvest well, had a beautiful house and family, and every reason to be happy.
One morning, as he was getting ready to harvest the first crop of the season, a storm was fast approaching.
The farmer ran inside for cover and watched the massive thunderstorm beat his crops to the ground in a matter of seconds.
He was gutted and looked up as if talking to God and said, “Why did this happen to me? What have I done wrong? I’m always helping other. I am sincere in all my endeavours. Why me Lord? Why me?” cried the devastated farmer.
Out of nowhere appeared a hermit who happened to notice the farmer’s plea and here’s what he told him -
“Dear Farmer, I am sorry to see what just happened to your crops. I hate to tell you that no matter how good you are; sometimes it will rain on your efforts and hail on your crops. It’s just that kind of planet. We can do nothing about it.
We are all at the mercy of Mother Nature. When she decides to sweep it clean, she doesn’t care who’s right or wrong, who’s sincere or fake. She will just sweep us all away with all her might.
But what we can try doing is be prepared. Insure everything over which you cannot have full control. Expect the worse. Have enough in store so even when disaster strikes, if you happen to be alive, you still have something to survive on until you harvest your next crop”, said the hermit and walked away in the wilderness.
Be prepared. That’s what all the insurances are for today.
If you have a family, valuable content, and property, learn to insure them, so you don’t end up on the streets even if you happen to lose it all.
Be wise and prepare in advance.
Now that we have covered what you need to know to make a fresh start, hang on! We are not done yet.
Use my ‘MUST’ strategy to make things nice and slow to avoid feeling overwhelmed from the get go.
Mentally and physically prepare yourself
When starting afresh, you cannot decide to start doing so out of the blue.
You cannot wake up one morning and put yourself out there without any preparation. You will mess things up.
Starting over in life is no child’s play. You will go through many situations that will require having your head on your shoulders.
The key is to prepare yourself, both mentally and physically. You have to be brutally honest and remind yourself that it’s only going to get tough.
I remember taking a year to gather as much information as I could to get started.
Having been brought in a conservative family, I had to force myself out of my comfort zone and face the unknown. I had to prepare myself and expect the worst to avoid mental breakdowns.
Unlearn to learn
Sometimes we believe that we have acquired enough knowledge to keep us going until the end of our days. How naive of us!
We forget we are living in an ever-changing world.
Is it possible to depend on just our limited knowledge to tackle the fast-changing situations in our personal and professional lives?
Starting over again requires us to take this difficult step of unlearning.
We have to unlearn most of what we have learned to make space for new and improved habits, better communication, negotiating skills, and smart survival methods.
Personally, I had to unlearn the ways I used to hold myself back.
Being a girl, I was taught to hold on to my thoughts; I was asked not to act boldly. I was expected to do what others asked me to and not have farfetched dreams.
Unlearning these mannerisms was tough.
However, once I went through this process, learning took place quickly. Every learning curve was an opportunity for growth to me.
I enjoyed being true to myself and follow the dreams I had long left buried.
Spice up your daily routine
Usually when we start afresh in life, boredom starts to creep in as we get comfortable. The first few years are the tough ones.
Let’s imagine you quit your job to start your own business. You might get into the habit of sticking to a rigid routine.
Although a routine is important if you want your business up and running, it can also result in boredom.
How can you beat this problem without compromising your business activities?
Spend an hour or less daily doing something exciting, relaxing, entertaining or pointless to your daily routine.
That could be dancing, reading, playing, exercising, doing some DIY, going for a walk, shopping, or listening to music. Do whatever you feel like.
Taking your mind off your priorities for a while can better help you refocus on more pressing things.
Take a relationship inventory
Who surrounds me?
Who’s motivating me?
Who is genuinely content for me and who is wishing me trouble?
Who makes me feel worthless and angry?
Who makes me feel good and happy about myself?
Asking such questions, as we grow older, can help change our lives. You should ask yourself such questions when taking a relationship inventory.
You will realize the need to have only those who wish you nothing but the best for you.
It will be less important to have many people around you and more important to have REAL ones!
Sometimes people in our lives become toxic, and we have to cut the cord. I understand it’s easier said than done.
Initially, I used to allow a handful of people to treat me as they wanted to. Fortunately, as I became aware of my self-worth, I decided enough was enough and severed all contacts with them.
Hence, if you have such people in your life, where possible, try to limit your interaction with them and stop giving them the power to control your thoughts and actions.
If you feel under pressure to be good to someone just because of some good distant memory in the past, take the inventory.
If the bad outweighs the good in your relationship, it’s perfectly fine to cut them off. Make space for those who support your mission and vision.
Winding Up -
Are you considering on starting over again?
Have you ever started anything from scratch? How did it feel? Would you like to add anything to the list above that could benefit others?
I am looking forward to hearing your valuable thoughts on this topic.
If you know of any friend and family wishing to start over again, please care to share this post with them.