Top 6 Surefire Ways To Attract Positive Relationships In Your Life

December 23, 2015

Have you ever felt like you're attracting the wrong crowd?

When I say 'wrong' it doesn't necessarily mean 'bad'. 

It only means that some people are simply not meant to be a part of your life. 

They're a mismatch for you. 

Do you often find yourself surrounded by people who suck the life out of you?

If you're in a relationship, are you moving from one abusive relationship to the other? 

Does your circle of friends consist of people who are needy, disrespectful, sarcastic, backstabbers, and complainers?

If you answered affirmatively to most of the questions asked above, I could assure you have come to the right place. 

It is a cause for concern if you are surrounded by - 

- Those who take advantage of you. 

- Those who drain all your energy, making you feel bad about yourself. 

- Those sending negative vibes your way. 

- Those who are nice on your face and badmouth you when you're not in sight. 

- Those who are needy and want you to be available 24/7.

Honestly, who wants to be around such people?

As we grow old, we realize the importance of having REAL positive relationships, as opposed to those who simply say a 'hi’ and a 'bye'. 

We become increasingly selective and look for those who truly want to be part of our lives. 

Looking into my circle of friends makes me feel pleased. 
I am surrounded by wonderful people, both online and offline. 

As I work towards becoming a better person, I find it much easier to attract positive relationships, and I don't hesitate in letting go of those who bring me negativity. 

Believe it or not, our success is partly determined by the people we are surrounded with on a daily basis. 

We all want people whose aspirations are similar to ours - those who inspire and believe in us when we doubt ourselves. 

Unfortunately, attracting positive relationships doesn't happen by chance, and certainly not overnight. 

It requires a fair bit of personal effort and belief that you can attract who you want in your life.

We want to have people who bring more to the table than just their mouths. 


But hang on a minute! Who's to blame? 

You are not going to like this. 

So who's to blame? YOU ARE TO BLAME! I know you're frowning reading this.

You must be thinking I'm crazy. 

But read the rest of the post before jumping to any conclusions. 

We often tend to associate bad happenings as something that's not in our control. 

If we're struggling economically, we blame the taxes. 

If we're unemployed, we blame the government. 

If people with a negative attitude surround us, we blame them. 

In reality, most of what happens to us is through our own conscious and unconscious doings. 

Nobody's to blame. 

If you're struggling economically, why blame the taxes? 
Chances are that you are not able to manage your finances properly.

If you're unemployed, blaming the government won't solve a thing. 
You probably are limiting yourself to one place and not looking hard enough. 

Likewise, if you find yourself surrounded by negative people, it is likely that you let them in yourself. 

2016 being just around the corner, I'm sure you'd love to attract positive relationships. 

Here are my top 6 ways to help you go about this process. 

 Be Your Authentic Self 

I can't stop myself from emphasizing how important it is to be authentic. We are living in a world where many people are tempted to imitate.

I've often seen people letting go of their true selves, just to fit in.

If you can't be authentic around those you mingle with, it is time to reconsider your circle of friends. 

Being true to yourself sounds simple, but there's a lot of courage and willpower involved. 

You might annoy a few, and it could cost you a few friends, but it will be worth it in the long run. 

People are often attracted to those who are true to themselves. 

Hence, whatever you do, be honest and authentic. 

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain in doing so.

 Toot Your Horn

Yes! You heard me right. 
Toot your horn. 

Promote yourself. 

You are your own brand. 

If you don't, who will? 

You probably aren't crossing paths with people you want in your life simply because you aren't advocating for yourself. 

Remember, though, there's a fine line on calling to get noticed and seeking attention in an obnoxious manner. 

Get that right and you'll attract who you want, and be able to make a difference.

Display your work. Get recognized for what you do. 

Be known. Use social media to your advantage here, but don't overdo it.

 Know What you Want and Stick to It

People often struggle to attract positive relationships because they still don’t know what they want. They are confused and simply let life happen to them.

That’s a dilemma. 

The moment you know exactly what you want is the moment everything else starts falling into place. 

Let me share my personal experience here. 

After spending years being confused and dazed about what I wanted, I realized I wanted to make a difference in people's lives. 

I began by offering support and advice to anybody feeling under the weather.
I did this by posting positive messages on social media and encouraging people to see the brighter side of life on a daily basis, which ultimately led me to blog. 

While blogging about my experiences and thoughts on positivity, I was lucky to come across awesome people who always looked at the glass half full. 

They were people I wanted to mingle with, people I felt comfortable sharing my dreams and aspirations with. 

 Learn to Set Personal Boundaries 

Setting boundaries is a challenge for many. The moment you set them, you risk disappointing your family and friends. 

Those who used to believe you’re available 24/7 will even hate you for this. 

However, if you want your time and privacy to be respected, you will have to set some boundaries. 

For instance, I’ve had a couple of folks, who during the weekend would just barge into my house at any time of the day. 

That used to disturb my routine, and I knew I had to do something about it. 

I politely told them, I have quite a few things to do, and if they wanted to come over, they'd have to inform me first. 

However, they took offense and thought I was arrogant. 

I can’t control people’s reactions, but I can certainly teach them to respect the boundaries I set.

Setting personal boundaries is as important as the food you eat. It means you care about yourself and respect your time. 

Here’s the thing. As the saying goes, 
“Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” 

Hence, those who refuse to respect your boundaries shouldn’t be part of your life, and those who do so will never be offended by it. Instead, these people will be inclined to respect you even more.

 Find Like Minded People

If you're looking to surround yourself with people who inspire you, take part in seminars and workshops where you get to network with people whose interests are similar to yours. 

You don't need me to tell you the power of the Internet.

The world is literally at our fingertips. 

Finding like-minded people is a breeze. You could easily join online forums, groups, communities you're interested in, share your views, and listen to what others have to say. 

You could also attend webinars, Skype sessions or Google hangouts, and very likely come across people who share your vision and passion. 

Start choosing wisely and carefully.

"Who you hang out with determines what you dream about and what you collide with. And the collisions and the dreams lead to your changes. And the changes are what you become. Change the outcome by changing your circle" Seth Godin

 Stop Self Limiting Beliefs In Its Tracks

“I don’t attract people I want in my life because I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. I always get rejected.” 

Is that what you have been telling yourself or feel so far? 

It’s time to change it. 

Self-limiting beliefs prevent us from living a great life. It stops us from recognizing our potential. It prevents us from attracting positive relationships. 

 Such beliefs make us feel as fragile as glass.

Have you ever heard of the ‘glass delusion’?

According to Wikipedia, the ‘glass delusion’ is a psychiatric disorder that was recorded in Europe. 

Some people feared they were made of glass and, therefore, likely to shatter into pieces. 

King Charles VI of France was believed to be the early sufferer. He avoided human contact and even went to the extent of wearing reinforced clothing to protect himself from accidental shattering. 

Now you must be thinking this glass delusion is irrational. Yes! Maybe it is now. 
However, it holds an important lesson. 

Consider this.
If you keep telling yourself,
“I can’t take this risk because I will get hurt.”

The only difference between you and King Charles is that his belief was based on human contact, whereas, yours is based on your emotions. 

You won’t take a risk because you’re scared your emotions will get hurt. You believe setbacks, failures, and uncomfortable situations in life will shatter you into a million pieces. 

Your beliefs are as irrational as King Charles’.

If you want to attract positive relationships, you’ll have to put yourself out there, even if it feels awkward. 

If you love somebody, you have to be brave enough to let them know about it even if that means being rejected. Rejection won’t kill you. It will only make you stronger. 

The emotions you feel can never harm you, but self-limiting beliefs can.

Over to you –

Have you ever wondered what is stopping you from attracting positive relationships in your life?
How do you attract positive relationships in your life?
Is it a struggle to do so? 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

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  1. Hi Hema.. This is one of the best post on positive and inspiration thing. I have faced lot of people who love me and respect me a lot when I have money and fame but show the opposite side when I don't have the same. Friends, relatives and colleagues are all in the list.. But by God's grace I have a good bunch of people who care about me.. I also agree with what you said about circle of friends thing.. If one friend is negative in a circle, then there will be effect on others too. Thanks for this wonderful post

    1. Hello Gurunath,

      Thank you so much for taking time to read and leaving me your valuable comment.
      I think many of us can relate to this post. I'm glad though that you have people who you can truly call your own.

      Hence it's important that we take care of who we let into our lives. We should try to surround ourselves with as much positivity as possible.

      Thank you
      Wishing you a great year ahead :)

  2. Hi Hema,

    Wonderful post indeed :)

    I've heard of the idiom that says one is known by the company he or she keeps, but not everybody realizes that the company and surrounding people affect your mind and psyche deeply. If you do not hold strongly to yourself, you get influenced by vibes you get and moved by the currents of energy. Most importantly, we directly or indirectly manifest such desires and invite the wrong people into our life.

    Yes, I agree with you that we must attract positive relationships. Blaming people or events is easy but not a solution to problems. At any given situation, we have got only two choices - either change the situation and the elements that create the situation or change ourselves. It's always best to keep your control within you rather than people or situations trying to control you.

    I think the first step really is to know what you want. The rest starts falling in place. After the 'what' is answered, the 'who', 'where', 'how' are also easy to know. I try to be positive and be my own self and be good in everything I do to everybody, and I experience reciprocation in the same manner. Eventually, if you stay positive, you'll have more positive in your life and that includes the relationships.

    Thanks for sharing this with us. Have a nice week ahead, and enjoy your holidays as well :)

    1. Hello Harleena,

      Thank you for stopping by. It's always a pleasure to read your valuable input.

      Great idiom! That's so true.

      Nowadays with so much happening around us, if we are not careful we can easily be swept into negativity. Negative influences has the power to create so much havoc in our lives. Hence, we need to be aware who we let into our lives.

      We have to stop ourselves from blaming the outside world and learn to take control of the situation.

      I love how you practice positivity. Being our true to ourselves is something I always advocate for...but unfortunately many of us often that the outside world needs to fit our perception of it. In reality if we are genuine, we will atrract the same response. It's that simple!

      Thank you for your insightful comment. Wish you and yours great year ahead :)

  3. Hi Hema

    What a post. I am the one who defines how positive my relationship becomes based on the choices I make and the friends I keep. Indeed this is true.

    The tips you shared are golden. Being true to yourself is important. Knowing what you want and sticking to it helps attract positive relationship.

    I love the idea of setting personal boundaries. This has helped me a lot.

    Thanks for sharing this awesome post. Have a lovely week.

    1. Hello Ikechi,

      Thank you for taking time to read my post. Great to have your input again.

      These tips have honestly changed the way I look at relationships. Instead of waiting for the outside world to be true to me, I decided to be true to myself and expect less from the world.

      Even I didn't know a thing about setting boundaries until the boundaries were being crossed. It took a toll on me until the day I thought enough was enough. Setting personal boundaries as I said may not please others but it's primordial especially if we respect ourselves and our time.

      Thank you so much for stopping by. I wish you a wonderful year ahead :)
      Wish you all the very best.

  4. Hello Hema,
    Absolutely loved the 'glass delusion' analogy. No better way to drive home the point. If anything, thank you for that. From now on, it will be my constant reminder whenever I find myself caught up in irrational, delusions fears.

    How I attract positivity
    1. Knowing myself thoroughly.
    2. Letting go of self-judgment and accepting myself unconditionally.
    3. Oodles of gratitude.
    4. Respecting my intuition, following my heart and the voice in my head.
    5. Nurturing the loving relationships and in turn drawing support and strength from them.

    The moment I believed and acted upon my deepest desire in the face of censure, disappointment from loved ones, is truly the day the quality of my life changed. And I haven't looked back since! I cannot thank God enough for the courage I stumbled upon that day.

    Thank you again for the fantastic words and work. Here's wishing you a fabulous new year. May you continue oozing awesomeness! :)

    1. Hello Sarani,

      I'm glad to read your insightful comment.

      The 'glass delusion' isn't that amazing? I use it whenever I catch myself going off track.

      Wow! Those are great inspiring ways to attract positivity. I especially love #2. This is so important. We often give ourselves a hard time. But it's important that we work on becoming better individuals but also accepting ourselves in the process.

      I admire your courage to have moved on from those rough times. You're an inspiration indeed.

      Thank you for your kind words of appreciation. It means a lot to me.
      I would love to have your thoughts on my posts over and over again.

      Wishing you too a great year. May you be blessed with the best of everything :)

  5. Hi Hema,

    I've learned that saying yes to everyone, at the expense of my own happiness prevented me from attracting positive and the right relationships. We should have a clear visualization of what we want, or need, from our would-be relationships ... not just dive into them anyway in the hopes of "fixing" them along the way.

    It's great to practice our own personal effectiveness in dealing with other people. We need not shut out people we might not like "at first sight." All I'm saying is we need a boundary, a "minimum requirement," because if we simply allow unhealthy relationships, especially if we're still learning about ourselves, then who gets in trouble, right? Not them, certainly.

    Like most things in life, this takes practice, too. Getting the hang of it could take us a long way.

    I also strongly believe we are responsible, directly or indirectly, for our circumstances. No one else to blame really, though I wouldn't want to "blame" myself ... let's just say failures are simply inevitable ;)

    Nice post. Have a great year ahead!


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