4 Ways To Stop Giving A F*** About What People Think Of You

November 17, 2016

Are you guilty of being overly concerned of what people think of you?

Unfortunately most of us are in varying degrees. Whether it's a friend, family, colleague or stranger we tend to give a damn of what they think of us.

You're not to blame. Obsessing over what others think of us stems from a very early age.
Most of us have been brought up to believe we need to impress our parents, teachers, friends and relatives. 

For instance if we got bad grades at school we are reminded of the shame we bring onto our families as people will think we are dumb. 

Have you ever been asked to dress a certain way, walk a certain way, behave a certain way and talk a certain way?? Why is that so? 

Surely you must have been told, "We live in a society and you have to conform to the norms". Isn't it?

I agree we need to abide by certain behaviours and dressing codes as that is what makes us part of a civilised society. 

But at times some of these so called rules and traditions are simply foolish and we're forced to abide by them just so others can think rightly about us.

In doing so we lose our real selves and take on fake personalities. 

I myself have had lots of 'shoulds' imposed upon me while I was growing up. Most of which didn't make any sense and I so badly wanted to rebel against most of them.

As a girl I wasn't supposed to talk to boys, have no 'boys' as friends and certainly never ever have any physical contact with boys whatsoever...not even a shake of the hand. 

Why so? You ask? 
Well people are watching. What will they think? What will they say? 
They might think I'm a bitch and god knows what else.

Unfortunately I was living in an environment where most people spent half their lives giving a f*** of what others thought of them.

We blindly adhere to conventions, renounce our freedom eventually lose our identities. 

Learning not to give a f*** was tough but once I did it was one of the most liberating thing I had ever done.

Here's 3 ways I want to share with you to help you let go of this self limiting belief.

 Know that the world doesn't revolve around you

"By realising you are an animated bag of meat stuck on a 
space rock spinning around a fireball" 
Adam Saban

I don't mean to make you feel unimportant but surely you would know that you and I are insignificant specks in the universe.

You think people care about you. The hilarious thing is most people think like you. We all believe that chit chat behind our backs was about us. That sarcastic joke was meant to hurt us. That comment had some underlying meaning.

Hello! Everybody is as self conscious as you. Remember, people are way too preoccupied worrying about what others think of them to spend time thinking about your shortcomings!

Let me give you an example.

Imagine you're the CEO of a huge company.

No papers gets signed, no decisions are made, no deals are made without your approval.

After all you're the CEO...obviously you'd call the shots every step of the way. You feel so important and almost feel like the company won't function without you.

But suddenly you get really sick and pass away.

What do you think will happen with the company now?

Well...honey.. they'll get you replaced.
They'll find another CEO as soon as possible. Period.

As I mentioned earlier life will surely and certainly go on with or without you.

So to think that the world revolves around you is absolutely naive.

Get a grip! Stop worrying what others are thinking about you.
They just couldn't care less about you...so shouldn't you.

 You are not designed for every one to like you...Accept it!

I think I've said this a million times however most of us seem to have been conditioned to want to be liked by everyone.

It's one thing to want to be liked or accepted but needing to be liked and approved of is self destructive. 

So what if some people don't like you? Is that the end of the world? 

"Everybody does not have to like you. That is not their job.  
Liking you is not anyone's purpose in life except yours" 
Iyanla Vanzant

Not everyone will like you and that's okay!

 Be in charge of how you feel

"Feelings are not just emotions that happen to you. 
Feelings are reactions you choose to have".
Dr Wayne Dyer

We can all be in charge of how we feel but it's easier said than done. 

Here's an instance,

Matt is a grade four teacher. He spends a lot of time worried because his colleagues think he's inexperienced. He is very unhappy because most of them have a low opinion of him. 

What if Matt was unaware that his colleagues had this opinion of him?
Would he still be unhappy? Of course not.
How could he be unhappy about something he didn't know. 

Therefore what his colleagues think or don't think doesn't make him unhappy.

What Matt thinks is what makes him unhappy. Matt makes himself unhappy by convincing himself what somebody else thinks of him is more important than what he thinks of himself. 

You see, you can apply the same logic to various situations, perceptions and view points. 

If you have been betrayed by the person you love and that's hurting you...you are simply telling yourself to feel hurt because of that betrayal. 

This doesn't mean you should be happy about having been betrayed...but ask yourself

Why should I choose to feel hurt?
Will it help me get over the pain?

We've all grown in a culture which has taught us that we are not responsible for our feelings.
The truth is we are. 

Nobody hurts us.
Nobody mocks us.
Nobody bullies us. 

We allow ourselves to be hurt, mocked and bullied.

Isn't it time we took charge of our feelings???

 Reserve your f***s for better things

Do you know why you give a f*** about what people think of you??

Because you have nothing better to care about.
You must have heard the very famous cliche, an idle mind is the devil's playground.

Why clog your mind with shitty thoughts??

When people try to bring you down with their opinions of you...
Shift your thought to something better.

Think about your aspirations, your goals and the people who love you and genuinely care about you. 

Surely you wouldn't want to be on your deathbed having deep regrets and wondering why you ever gave a f*** of what others thought of you instead of saving it to go after your dreams. 

Hereafter if you ever feel the itch to give a shit...do so for those who have a role to play in your growth as a person.

Refuse to waste your time and energy on unwanted, useless opinions of people who don't matter in the least.

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